31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 15

Good evening all!

I hope you’re doing well?

I’ma write up a To-Write-About-List soon, so I make sure I don’t forget about things I *need* to tell you about!

Until then – Here’s todays challenge!

img_3293-1Day 15: Timeline of my day.

Today?! Oh boy. Today has been pretty average really!

I was up at 9am, made breakfast (crumpets), and my must have cup of tea in the morning (Earl Grey), and got ready to head out to an appointment at 10am.

Now, this appointment is something I want to blog separately about as it’s pretty interesting stuff (Well, I think it is!): SOUND THERAPY

So, I spent 10-11am (round about!), laying on a therapy bed, with singing bowls on my back, and then listening to the sounds, whilst my mind went mental with all the ridiculous amount of chaos in my head. Damn these thoughts. Still, it was relaxing until I felt annoyed and frustrated by the sounds used at the end – Sharp rattling sounds which just made my muscles tense up!

I then went to my Mums house in the hope I”d be there to see my brother return from his work experience in America. So whilst I waited to find out from Mum an ETA for him, via text – as Mum was at work, I had a cup of tea whilst my sister was still in bed. I terrified my sister who thought I was Mum, because she got up at almost 1pm and thought she’d get moaned at or something. Haha! The ETA for my brother was 2.30pm, so I decided to head off and see him on Sunday instead.

Then about 1.30, I went shopping to get some fruit and veg for the weeks dinners. As well as some treats, because, y’know – It’s Christmas (At last, I have an excuse!)

By 2.30, I’d got home and we decided to wrap presents up because we can’t believe that Christmas is only 10 DAYS AWAY!!! So, I put some Christmas music on, and we spent way too long wrapping presents, and going through all the old cards to cut out gift tags from, and laughing at some of the names – Like – where are they now?!

After that, I cooked dinner, which was amazing (If I do say so myself), vegetable rice – Veggies were peppers, celery, red onion, sweetcorn, courgette and mushrooms all stir-fried, added chopped chestnuts and then stirred in cooked rice. Seasoned with salt and pepper. Oh my – It was DELISH!

We’ve been watching ‘Bancroft‘ on ITV this week, and it’s been intense! So we caught up on last night episode, and have the finale to watch, which we will probably watch tomorrow night now, as at 9pm tonight, we are going to watch the coming out show for ‘I’m a celebrity, get me out of here now!

Then, shortly after 10pm tonight, I’m hoping to be in bed because we keep having late nights, which no doubt contribute to the pain and fatigue I have to deal with, so I need to start helping myself!

Ahhh, so there you have it. A bit of an average day!

What have you been up to today?

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Stay strong Ghosts!

Erica
@ghostwithinme

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A December Update!

Hey everyone,

I really want to try and keep this a brief as possible. I am so tired, and I may have had a lay in but all day I have been forcing myself to stay up and awake in order to get a few things done. I’m exhausted beyond words and as it’s the “Festive Season”, I don’t think I’ll be able to rest properly for some time yet!

There’s always a lot going on in my life – as I’m sure there is in everyone’s life, but for some reason, there’s been a lot more downs, than there have been ups.

Family is an absolute nightmare sometimes. All I have wanted is one of those happy-go-lucky families, where everyone gets on with one another. Oh, how that will never, ever EVER happen!

I recently found out that my brother who’s accused me of something terrible, is expecting a baby with his now ex-girlfriend! The baby is due any time now, and I was told a week ago by my Dad! The relationship my brother and I is, well no longer a relationship. We are blood related, but that’s it. I find it amusing but also sad, how he is in the situation my other brother is in and yet he gave the other so much grief for not being with the “mother” of his child. And now – he’s gone and acted in the exact same way.

I dread to think what goes through their heads. I mean, there has been so many accusations made about me and my Mum by them, that I wonder why they feel the need to make up lies, and I wonder how they come up with such disgusting thoughts. They act so irresponsibly, and they are abusive and violent. More from one than the other. But words can hurt just as much as actions, and also have a devastating impact on how the recipient of the abuse lives their life.

I would love it if the family could get along, but getting everyone together is a recipe for disaster. I’m trying really hard to focus on MY life, and not as a whole family. Family is what you make of it, but it’s not helped when there are some members you would like in it, but end up getting caught up in the mess the boys have made.

So, there’s a new niece or nephew, soon to be born, and there’s a very high chance I won’t have anything to do with them. I am wondering if I should *try* to be – Maybe by keeping things by for them, when they are older so I can give them to them, so I don’t have to deal with my brother – but then I am anxious with the stories my brother will feed them, as I know how manipulative he can be.

This brother doesn’t live in the UK, and if he did move back, I would find it incredibly hard, but I would do my best to ensure I carried on as “normal” and show that I’m not fearful of him any more, and I will not be beaten. He does not have control of my life. I do. So, I guess if I want to be an aunty to the child, then surely, surely I have that right?

I imagine this sounds quite cryptic, and I apologise for that. If you have had dealings with domestic abuse and violence, I am sure that you will know exactly what I mean. Nothing is ever simple these days.

Stay Strong Ghosts!

Erica
@ghostwithinme

31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 14

Hey guys!
Day 14 – ALMOST halfway through the challenge.

Today’s been a lazy day because by the end of yesterday I could barely walk and my body was extremely sensitive and painful to move. Whilst I call it a “lazy” day, it’s actually what chronic pain sufferers would call a “rest” day. I’m not really rested or been that lazy, as I’ve had to sort out our poorly cats today. Not too sure what’s going on, but they all don’t seem to be themselves and making a mess in one way or another – from either end. If you catch my drift… *blurgh* (TMI!)

I’ve spent some of the day brainstorming ides for my business name. I’ve been working with the Princes Trust, and they weren’t keen on my business name from a business point of view, so I’ve been stressing out about what else I can use. Lots of opinions and advice and I’m trying very hard to accept them all!

So, taking a step away from that for a little while and writing this!

img_3293-1Todays challenge is to let you know:
What is in my handbag?

Well, I always make sure I have my keys, phone and purse with me. As well as my pocket sized Paperchase organiser (although, I’m hoping to get a personal sized Paperchase or vegan Filofax soon), along with a pen or two, a phone charger, my iPod, nail file and tissues. I then also have hand cream (currently from Waitrose), a couple of hand sanitisers (from Neals Yard Remedies/Superdrug) and lip balm (from Lush).

*The links will take you to the exact product I have unless it’s not on the website, and therefore it’s just the main webpage.

What are your must haves in your handbag?
Any recommendations for what I should carry around with me?

Please sign up to follow my page, and/or follow me on Twitter which is linked to the blog posts.

Stay strong Ghosts!

Erica
@ghostwithinme

31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 13

Good evening everyone!

Today has been one hell of an anxiety-provoking day. It was the annual Christmas party at the therapeutic community. Last year I was unable to attend as I was on holiday, so it’s been over a year and a half since I’ve been in the building which caused me grief and anguish, but also “healed” me in some respect!

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So, needing to focus on something else –
I’m pleased that today’s challenge is to share my Favourite Quote.

This quote is quite apt for what I’ve had to go through today…

My favourite quote is by Tim Burton (Who else! <- Those who know me will understand!) and it’s:

one-persons-craziness-tim-burton-quote1

What’s your favourite quote? Please share in the comments!

Please sign up to follow my page, and/or follow me on Twitter which is linked to the blog posts.

Stay strong Ghosts!

Erica
@ghostwithinme

31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 12

Hey everyone,

Still a lot going on in my life. I’m hoping to write up a post soon, and also hoping it doesn’t get too long either. Physically not doing too great so get tired very quickly.

img_3293-1Today’s challenge is: “if I won the lottery…”

Obviously this depends on how much I was to win!!

So, let’s pretend it’s millions and millions!

Well, I would love to buy a big farmhouse and open up a rescue for unloved animals. I’d adopt as many as I could and look after them along with helpers.

I would make sure my family were supported financially and got the best healthcare they could get.

I would support those who have helped me through darker times. I would also provide support for the mental health services in the area as well as provide a safe house for those in crisis.

There’s probably a lot more I could and would want to do. I can only dream…

I have goals and ambitions, so if I work to them, then one day my luck may be in to achieve something of the above!

Please sign up to follow my page, and/or follow me on Twitter which is linked to the blog posts.

Stay strong Ghosts!

Erica
@ghostwithinme

31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 11

Hey everyone,

Last night I didn’t get home until 3am! The issues with the Eurotunnel ended up on the local news as well, so in a way, it justified our ridiculously long wait at the terminal. Even if I did feel so ill by the end of it! I even took an anti sickness tablet to try and ease my symptoms.

img_3293-1Today’s challenge is to name my most proud moment.

This is quite difficult for me to answer because I think I have a few proud moments. I’ll list my biggest two, (I think!):

1. Becoming a big sister, to a sister! I loved becoming a big sister to my brothers, but I really wanted to have a sister, and holding her in my arms when we visited her in hospital and being told I was holding my sister was one of the happiest most proudest memories I cherish.

2. Getting married! This has to be a proud moment – Obviously! To find someone who loves me for me, flaws an’all, is well… Something to bloody well cherish! My wife and I have been through so much and I honestly do not know how she does it. Or me, for that matter! I think that throughout the years, we have learnt to be kind to each other, be honest and laugh with each other. I do have attachment issues because of my BPD, but over the past couple of years, I have become less attached to Lauren and we are so much stronger than we’ve ever been. We’ve been together for 11 years now, and married for 3. So, here’s to many more proud moments with my wife!

What’s your proudest moment?

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Stay strong Ghosts!

Erica
@ghostwithinme

31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 10

Hello all!

It’s my 3rd Wedding Anniversary today, and we went to Bruges for the day. We got absolutely soaked with the snow and rain, and freezing cold because of the wind as well. What a day to spend an anniversary? How to top it off?

Get stuck at the Eurotunnel to get back to the UK with delays extended up to 3 hours. At this rate, we won’t be leaving France until 1.45am – their time. So, won’t get home until much later. Well, if at any time in the morning!!

Joy!!

So, I’m sat here trying not to run down my battery too much and writing up today’s blog post.

img_3293-1Today’s challenge is to name my first celebrity crush:

Haha; this could be embarrassing! Let’s see.. I had S Club 7 plastered all over the wall! But then, I absolutely loved Take That! Then and now (and not ashamed to admit that!)

 

Haha! Oh goodness…!

Who was yours? You might trigger off some more memories!

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Stay strong Ghosts!

Erica
@ghostwithinme

31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 9

Good evening all!

Today I’ve spent the day crafting, with a migraine. Oh yes, such fun! *grumbles*

Tomorrow I’m off to Bruges for the day, so I am hoping my pain goes away so I can enjoy the day, although with it being ridiculously cold, I am sure I’ll still be suffering!

img_3293-1Today’s challenge is: Piercings or Tattoos?

Well, yes Day 9. In actually fact I have both!

I have multiple piercings and tattoos.

My piercings currently consist of my lobes pierced 4 times either side, anti tragus on my left ear along with my tragus, helix and rook, and my right ear with my tragus, conch twice (one to an industrial piercing I don’t wear because it hurts) and helix twice. I also have my nose pierced, my septum pierced, my tongue pierced, my lip has been pierced 6 times and I currently have it in the right lower side, and finally, I have one nipple and top belly button pierced. I also have a microdermal which is somehow surviving being knocked about and caught even though it’s on my chest!

I’ve also had other piercings and surface piercings but removed them over time.

As for tattoos, well…

I have three rabbit tattoos – all very different, two heartagram tattoos -middle fingers like Kat Von D, fairies in ivy, flowers in ivy, theatre masks, a cross, a witch, a cat with a witches hat, a pentagram being held by Jack Skellington, I have a rose and trinity symbol, I also have the Batman symbol! I have the words: Michael, Breathe, A Beautiful Nightmare, Girl Interrupted and Amor. I would love to show you all of these at some point. There’s a lot going on at the moment, so I’m unable to at this moment in time – But I’ll definitely sort something out for you!

So there you go, quite a few of each!

What do you have?

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Stay strong Ghosts!

Erica
@ghostwithinme

31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 8

Good afternoon all!

img_3293-1Todays challenge is to upload an old photo of me!

Goodness – Well, as I get to choose, I’ve gone with a less embarrassing one! I would love to be able to say how old I was here, but I have absolutely no idea! I’m guessing maybe 6?? It’s a guess though!!

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Stay strong Ghosts!

Erica
@ghostwithinme

31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 7

Hey everyone,

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Todays challenge is:
10 Favourite Foods

Well, this should be easy!

  1. Rice
  2. Avocado
  3. Chocolate – Since being vegan, I have found some amazing chocolates!
  4. Crisps
  5. Biscuits
  6. Courgette
  7. Broccoli
  8. Edamame Beans
  9. Vegan scrambled “egg” (made with chickpeas/pasta)
  10. Rice/Corn cakes – This is joint because I really like them equally – Especially with peanut butter or chocolate hazelnut spread (Yes – a vegan one!)

Not necessarily in that order! I’m a bit of a binger on the unhealthy treats, which is something I try to avoid – Don’t like having them in the house because I demolish them way too quickly, and then generally hate myself for doing so.

Well, wasn’t that exciting?! Haha. What’s your favourite food?

Please sign up to follow my page, and/or follow me on Twitter which is linked to the blog posts.

Stay strong Ghosts!

Erica
@ghostwithinme